Good afternoon!
Yesterday I was out at the Waukesha Farmer's Market signing and selling books. Seeing everything I've put in print in the last five years was really something. As authors, we write and then shelve what we write and move on to the next thing. Sometimes just putting everything on a single table and saying, yes I wrote that. In my case it's been four novels, two humor books and two novellas, in five years. That doesn't include "Missing in Manitowoc" which is finished but not yet out, nor does it include "Love is Eternal" which is the final in my three novella series, which is also almost finished.
The last five years have been a crazy whirlwind and I found myself yesterday sort of paging through some of the books, thinking about how I wrote them, how I fell in love with the heroes, and fought battles with the heroines. I was taken back to that very first novel, the one that got me published and gave me the confidence to go forward and make a name for myself and tell my stories to everyone out there:
Dream in Color.
Dream in Color is the book everyone should read if they've ever had a crush on a celebrity. I know who my celebrity crush is...at least the one I was thinking of when I wrote this. I hear from other people at signings and they tell me about this crush or that. It's a universal thing, falling in love with someone so completely out of reach, you carry that feeling in your heart forever.
Every author has a fondness for the first book they publish because it's the first. I'm no different. So today I'm going back five years and sharing a bit of this with you. Enjoy!
“The first thing I have to do is lose some weight.” Ramona
studied her reflection in the mirror the next morning. Leo watched her, tipping his head to one side
so the skin hanging over his furry eyes would shift and he could better see
Ramona twist this way and that way while still clinging to the bath towel that
covered her.
“What are
you looking at, Leo?” Ramona dressed
quickly and self-consciously in front of her dog. Something about the way Leo looked at her
made her wonder if dogs really did have a sense of humor. “Yes, I’m going to lose some weight, and so
are you. No more late night pizzas for
us.”
Leo pawed in
disapproval at the towel now on the floor.
“Of course I
have to lose weight. Jesse Alexander
would never, ever love a chubby chunk like me.
But I’ve got four months to be beautiful. Or at least thinner.” Ramona puffed her usual amount of powder
foundation on her face and then looked at herself with a very critical
eye. “I’m going to start wearing more
makeup, too.” She picked up a tube of
mascara and twisted off the top, crusty from years of disuse. She eyed up the stiff bristles of the black
brush. Behind her, Jesse howled
something about finding a lost love.
“You sing
it, Jesse. Pretty soon, you’ll be singing live for me!” She tossed out the old bottle and checked the
clock. “I’ve got time to stop at the
store for new mascara.”
Ramona
grabbed her keys and blew one kiss to Leo and one to Jesse’s picture on her
desk. “And neither one of you will
recognize little old me when I’m done.”
Ramona
arrived at work, still with enough time to apply the dozen different cosmetic
products that she had squirreled in her purse.
As she left the restroom feeling like a new woman, Virgil bumped into
her.
“Oh, excuse
me, ma’am. I’m sorry.”
“Virgil. You doofus.”
Virgil
looked up and squinted at her. “Ramona?”
“Who else?”
Not taking
his eyes from her, Virgil reached out a hand to her shoulder. “Are you still sick?”
“No. Why?”
“You’ve got
some black lines around your eyes. And
your face is flushed.”
“Virgil, I’m
wearing makeup.” Ramona frowned at
him. “I’ve decided to make myself more
presentable.”
“Oh.” Virgil followed her to her cubicle, a
confused look gracing his face. “But,
um, why?”
Ramona
turned excited eyes to him. “Tell me if
I’m crazy or not, okay? Last night I was
on the internet and I went to this Official Jesse Alexander website.” Ramona fairly bounced in her ergonomically
correct office chair. “I’m looking at
the site, and there’s a list of tour dates.
He’s doing a bunch of fairs and festivals and stuff, all over the place,
in the Midwest. So I’m thinking, hey, I
didn’t take any vacation time last year, maybe it’s time I did. I’ll take my
three weeks and go to as many shows as I can.”
Virgil toyed
with the Jesse Alexander paperweight that held down the morning’s latest
shipping orders. “You didn’t take a vacation last year?”
“Where would
I go? Can you see me on vacation with Eileen and Russell? Please.
Dinner with them is bad enough.
Can you see it? Singing songs as
we drive across country to-”
“Ramona!” Virgil looked as surprised by his sharp interruption
as she was. “What about your sick time?”
“From last
year? Apparently, that’s gone. I guess Celia’s been docking me a half day
for the days I show up ten minutes late.
Wish I’d known that, I would’ve taken the whole half-day. So anyway, I’m sitting there, thinking-”
“Ramona,
when is your anniversary date? With the
company?”
This time
Ramona stopped her prattling and stared at her friend. “Next week.” She flipped her calendar. “January 29th. I’ll have been here ten amazing years. And I thought maybe I’d ask Celia if I could
take last year’s vacation as well as this year’s all this summer because of the
tour and all, but she’ll definitely say no to that, I barely have to even ask
her, and I know that’s what her answer will-”
“I’m sorry, Ramona,
I don’t mean to keep interrupting you, but there’s something you should know.”
“And that
is?”
Virgil
cleared his throat and pushed up his glasses as he looked around the
cubicle. “When L.M.I. International was
sold the last time, the new owners changed the benefits packages for the new
employees, but not for the ones who have been here longer than five years.”
“Okay,
that’s fascinating, Virgil. But what has
that got do to with the tour schedule?”
Ramona fought the urge to wave her hands in front of his face to bring
his focus back on her story.
“You’ve been
here ten years, which means you get to roll over any unused vacation time
dating back five years.” Virgil cleared his throat. “Plus, since you started prior to the sale,
you get an extra two weeks’ time from the company once you hit ten years. You see, under the old package employees got
to roll time year after year for five years if they wanted to. One of the reasons the company almost went
under was because the entire shipping department decided to take off the last
quarter of 1997.”
Ramona’s
vision blurred. “How much time did you
say I had?”
“Well, three
weeks of your time last year, plus the five weeks this year. And tell me, did you use all your time from
the last five years?”
“I don’t
think so...not in the last five years. I haven’t done more than take a day here
or there.” Ramona slumped in her chair, rocking forward to lean her spinning
head in her hands. “That means...that
means...do you know what that means?”
She looked up at him, excitement feverish in her eyes. “What does this
mean, Virgil?”
“It means
you have somewhere in the neighborhood of seventeen weeks coming to you.”
Virgil set the paperweight down again and stood up. “It’s a simple figure of math, really. You just add your weeks of vacation together
over the period of five years. That’s three weeks a year, plus the bonus two
weeks. ”
Joy shot
through her like a bolt of electricity and Ramona kissed Virgil impetuously on
the lips. She wrapped her arms around him, joy steeling her joints against his
surprised struggle. Finally, after
sucking the life out of him, Ramona let Virgil crumple against the desk.
“Virgil, I
love you for telling me this!”
“Um, oh, I
love you, too, Ramona.” Virgil dabbed at
his broad forehead with his handkerchief.
“I-I mean, you’re welcome, of course.”
“I have to
go talk to Celia about getting all this time off.” Ramona smoothed her blouse and patted her
hair before stepping out of her cubicle.
Her hands trembled as she began to choose her words carefully.
“Ramona?” He didn’t move from his spot on the
desk.
“Yeah?”
“What was
the crazy thing you were going to tell me?”
Ramona gave
him a smile the exuded more confidence than she’d ever felt before. “I’m going to marry Jesse Alexander.”
“Oh…I…see.”
The pained look on Virgil’s face did not even register in her ecstatic mind as
Ramona hustled to Celia’s office.
Ramona
paused outside her supervisor’s office and ran over what she would say several
times. Finally, squaring her shoulders,
she went in.
Every time
Ramona entered Celia Yasher’s office, she thought of her waitress job in
college when she was required to get hamburger patties out of the walk-in
freezer. Celia’s office reflected her
personality in a way Ramona never thought possible in a room. Every corner was sharp, every pencil sharper.
“Celia?”
Ramona hardly recognized the anemic sound as her own voice.
Celia did
not look up. Ramona cleared her throat
and swallowed. “Celia?” This time, her voice held more weight to
it. “I’ve come to request vacation
time.”
“Good to see
you’ve recovered from your headache, Ramona.” Celia still didn’t look up but
she did reach for a three-ring binder labeled ‘Vacations’.
“Celia, the
thing is, I didn’t take any vacation time last year, and I’ll be getting five
weeks of time this year, once I pass my anniversary date. I was told I could put all that together. As
well as the weeks from the past five years.”
Now Celia
raised her gaze to Ramona. “My, my. Been
busy checking have we?”
Ramona felt
uncomfortable under the cat’s eye stare, but plowed on. “I want to take that all at once.”
Celia didn’t
blink at the request. Her painted face
remained still. “I see. And when do you think you’d like to take all
this time off?”
“I’d like to
leave the week before Memorial Day weekend.
The way I figure it, with Memorial Day and the Fourth of July holiday
weekends, I’d be able to take the entire summer off. I’d come back right after
Labor Day. That’s not even really the
whole amount of time I have coming.”
“Well,
that’s quite a chunk of time, isn’t it?” Celia’s stare never wavered, although
her voice held a note of contemptuous humor.
“May I ask what big plans you have for such an amount of time?”
I really
shouldn’t tell her. Ramona inhaled and held her breath, preparing herself
for the next wave of mockery. “Jesse
Alexander is going on tour of most of the Midwest, and I want to see all the
shows. There are going to be forty
shows, and I may even get to meet him in person.” As she said the words aloud, she wondered if
they sounded as hopeful and pathetic to Celia as they did to her own ears.
They did.
“Well, isn’t
that quite the fantasy for someone your age?
I suppose, being single, you have nothing else better to do.” Celia glanced at her garish wedding ring for
emphasis. “Still, you should focus on
someone a little more, shall we say, attainable. You know that for a woman your age, it’s more
likely that you’ll be hit by lightening than get married now. And to some rock
star person, too.”
“Then I
guess I’ll steer clear of thunderstorms, won’t I?” Ramona bit her lower lip, swallowing her
sharper words. “How about it,
Celia? Do I get the time off or not?”
Celia gave
her a dried up little smile. “I’m going
to have to deny your request.”
“What, just
like that? All of it?” Ramona swallowed back the disappointment that
welled in her.
“All of it.
I’m sorry, Ramona, but summer is just not a good time for you to take any time
off. Shipping is going to be busy. You
know that. And there’s no room in the
budget to hire a temp while you’re off on this wild goose chase of yours.”
“So what’s
the point of saving up all this vacation time if I never get to use it?”
“You needn’t
get snippy with me. No one forced you to
stay at your desk when you had vacation time coming.”
“You can’t
tell me no one forced me to stay at my desk, Celia Yasher. You know full well you denied me the few
times I did ask for time off.”
“I
understand you’re disappointed, Ramona, but as your supervisor, I have to tell
you that I do not have to tolerate your disrespectful tone.”
Ramona took
a deep breath and unclenched her fists.
“Fine. In another week I’ll have
earned five weeks’ time. I’d like to take that.”
“Certainly,
provided it’s not during June, July, August, or September.”
Ramona
clenched her fists again as she watched Celia wrestle with the smirk that
threatened to emerge on her face. “So I
get no vacation time at all, no matter how much in advance I ask for it, and no
matter how little an amount of time I ask for.
Is that pretty much how it is?”
“No not at
all, dear. Of course you can use your
vacation time. As I look on the
calendar, I can spare you for a week in October. Will that work with your plans?”
Ramona had
no words to give the rage that pounded in her chest. Her nails embedded themselves into her palms.
Celia’s tone
was syrupy thick. “Are you not feeling
well, Ramona? You look flushed.”
“Actually,
Celia, I am feeling a bit ill. I think
I’m going to go home a little early if that’s okay.”
“I
suppose. Of course, the time will be
charged against your vacation time since you have no sick time left.”
“Of
course.” Ramona pulled the office door
shut and brushed past Minnie without focusing on anything.
“Ramona? Ramona, are you okay?” Minnie huffed to keep up. “You look funny.” She reached Ramona’s cubicle as Ramona turned
off her computer. “Are you okay,
girl? What did that old bat say to you?”
Ramona
squared her shoulders and smiled at Minnie.
“I’m just fine, Minnie. I’m
perfect. I’m feeling a tiny bit under
the weather, that’s all. I’m going
home. Of course, this will count against
my vacation time, but since I have almost seven hundred hours of vacation, I
can spare it, I suppose. Have a good
night, Minnie.”
Ramona
walked to the front and out the door without another word to anyone. Once inside her car, Ramona rested her head
on the steering wheel and let the sobs roll out of her in waves.
“Ramona, are
you okay?”
Ramona
raised her tear-stained face to see Virgil tapping her car window. “Virgil,” she groaned.
“Ramona,
please roll down the window.” His watery gray eyes pleaded with her. “Minnie
just told me. What can I do to help?”
Ramona
sighed and lowered the window down an inch. “Nothing. I’m fine.
My headache came back from yesterday, so I’m going to go home.” She put her key in the ignition and fired up
her car. As she pulled out of her
parking spot, she saw Virgil, looking very, very sad. “Virgil.
I’m fine. I’m going home to lie
down or something.”
The sun was
still bright as Ramona drove down Waldo Boulevard. Feeling a little better escaping L.M.I.,
Ramona decided to go for a walk along the breakwater on the lake. She pulled into the marina parking lot,
ignoring the storm clouds threatened on the horizon. Ramona grabbed her digital music player from
her glove compartment and started out to the lighthouse.
The wind off
the lake cut at her cheeks, stinging her face and tearing up her eyes. She didn’t care. The lighthouse was her goal, a point of
safety from the angry cloud of noise surrounding her.
Tugging at
her collar and adjusting the headphones, Ramona never looked down as she made
her way over the oft-walked uneven rocks to her favorite perch. She turned up the volume of the music and shut
out the last of the disapproving voices that tried to reach her. Her mind was
free to dream.
Ramona’s
spot at the lighthouse was little more than a broken section of concrete piled
up on the far side of the deck. As a
child, she dangled her feet over the dark, icy water, delighted when frigid
fingers dampened her toes. An adult now,
she curled her legs under her, but still watched the water with dark
fascination.
She turned
the volume up once more, leaned back on the concrete, and closed her eyes. The throbbing from the headphones soothed her
aching head, cleansed her angry thoughts, and transported her from her misery.
Jesse
sits down next to her. His long hair
whips in the wind, just hiding his eyes from her. He crosses his arms, holding
his black coat closer to him. Sitting at
the very edge of the walkway, he dangles one foot over the black water of Lake
Michigan.
“Ramona,
come with me. I’ll take you away from
everything.”
“I want to,
Jesse. I do.”
“Then do it.
What’s here for
you? Leave with me.” Jesse taps his foot
against hers and grins.
“You have no
idea how bad I want to go away with you.”
“Well,
I’m flattered lady, but first you’d better get off your ass before you get
washed out into the lake!”
Startled,
Ramona opened her eyes and looked up into the face of one very unhappy marina
employee. The large, gruff looking man
tapped her on the shoulder and pulled the earpiece away from her head again.
“Lady,
there’s a storm out there. What the hell
are you doing sleeping here?”
Ramona stood
up but hunched herself to the smallest form possible in front of him. “I’m terribly sorry. I-I had no idea the weather was rough.”
“Don’t be
sorry, lady. Just don’t be out here when
it’s starting to storm like that.” He
pointed to the brilliant flashes of lightening that broke the sky in half. Icy sleet whipped around them. “Weird winter
storm. I never like lightning in the winter.
It’s not safe out here. Come on.”
Ramona
followed him like an obedient child for a few steps, and then stopped as a
crack of thunder opened a plan up to her. “No!
I’m not taking this anymore. I’m
going to live my life my way!”
“Listen,
lady, if it was up to me, you could sit out here all night, and we’d just fish
you out of the marina in the morning.
But the boss has a thing about bodies near the yachts, so you haveta get
out of here.”
“Not
that.” She pulled away from him. “I gotta go.”
She ran down the pier, not listening as the man swore into the wind.
Once back at
her house, Ramona aimed straight for the stereo. She cranked the volume level to the red zone
and selected a song. Glasses rattled in the cupboard and she tore layers of
clothing off and sang along.
Ladies and Gentlemen: LOVE IS ETERNAL!
